Sphere's of Influence

Back during my younger days in the evil corporate world we played a silly game called "Spheres of Influence". It is a magical exercise designed to help moron managers figure out knuckle headed employees and how to influence an outcome favorable to the Company goal. Simply put who was pulling who's strings and how to be the puppet master.

In life I guess we follow this idea perhaps in reverse. If we consider ourselves as the man in the middle then our personal "Sphere of Influence" flows outward. We begin to surround ourselves with people and place them in a priority according to our needs and their ability to fill them. Occasionally, these placements become mutual in benefit for both your sphere and theirs. It's very rare, I think, that that becomes a complete circle. Yet still more rare is that person who imagines themselves as a island and needs no one else. If that does exist how lonely I can imagine they are.

For now let's ignore the parental influence since we all had one, good or bad, and delve into the adult world. I understand that the parental influence can be strong and have formed the adult however, at some point we have to take responsibility for ourselves and move on.

As we mature don't we begin to bring people into our world by choice to fit some need that we have. There is the steadfast friend that we seek whom we can confide in to share our secrets and never expect judgement from. The lover that we can be open and intimate with exposing our vulnerabilities and bare our sole. The leader that we seek advise from about life's issues and what path we should consider. The support people who we can call on in a crisis and know that they can help. The family that we know will rally around us. If we are not careful then and place all of this on one person can't our world be more easily shattered because no one person can carry it all?

In this time of my life I have sought to more clearly identify those I have placed in areas of influence. As with any decision we make in life there is never a guarantee that we make the right choice. I have to be reminded that these people have needs of their own and they can not put them aside. It's difficult to keep the lines clear and not become a burden and something I deal with constantly. There are difficult issues to deal with everyday and the guilt associated with the dependence can be overwhelming.

Ironically, prior to now I had always considered myself as that strong leader with rock hard emotions and the ability to handle anything life brought down the road. How wrong I have been. I really need those within my "Sphere of Influence" each and every one and deal constantly with the guilt of that need.

For those that find themselves caught up in my sphere I can not express my heart felt gratitude strongly enough nor apologize often enough for the inconvenience it causes. I can only hope that someday I will be able to return the love that each of you have given me so freely.