Today's Angry Man!

"Standard Disclaimer". Nothing in this post is directed at any one person and my Family is in no way included.

Well today starts round three in Chemo and I have found myself in an angry place. You see as I mention very early in this blog I may have had unrealistic expectations about people I thought would be here through this. My Caregiver is in desperate need of support and it's not been forthcoming from people I expected to help her.

Like I have said this issue has revealed a friend's true colors. People I expected to rally around us have disappointed me greatly. I guess the thing that makes me the most angry is that it has shown me what a totally worthless friend I have been when I was needed. That's right it has caused me to see myself as an embarrassment and failure to be there for someone else.

Are we really so busy dealing with life that we have lost all respect for what is most important in life. Who is going to be there in your most desperate time of need? When I have failed so miserably to be any ones friend I should expect what is happening. Must we all go through something terrible to realize what's truly important. I know I have had to but I pray you will never have to.

I guess the reality is that Mae and I must circle the wagons closer and expect to handle this alone. Truly, we've always known that it would be the case because that's just life. Some people are afraid to be involved others can't deal with the reality and some just are simply to busy.

The disappointment about those I counted on to help her cope has only been slightly cushioned by those that have impressed me by their involvement. I fully understand the pressures of life but I can also offer you a unique view about how your life can change in an instant. Find solitude in your good fortune today and pray that tomorrow doesn't bring you life changing bad news.

I'm sorry if your feelings have been hurt by my anger and I feel better to have stated it. Today, I'm just an angry man but I find it easy to forgive those who have failed us. You see my life has changed forever and anger will not rule me anymore.

Thanks again to those who remain engaged and provide my Caregiver your support. She in in desperate need of it and is carrying a heavy burden. Thanks again to my children and family for bearing the burden so soon after losing you Mom. I can only imagine your struggle with this. We all miss her everyday I'm sure.

There I somehow feel better.... I am committed to not being a masked friend if ever I am needed to help someone cope with life.